My guest this week is a completely fired up Leah V, who shares her experience working as a fat, Black, Muslim model before the fashion industry ghosted her. Is diversity in fashion really happening, or is modeling sliding back into the dreaded ‘Almond moms’/’heroin chic’ era?

 

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Show Transcript

Welcome to all fired up. I’m Louise your host and this is the podcast where we talk all things anti diet. Has diet culture got you in a fit of rage is the injustice of the beauty ideal getting your knickers in a twist? Does Fitspo make you want to spit tspo? Are you ready to hurl if you hear one more weight loss tip? Are you ready to be mad, loud and proud? Well, you’ve come to the right place. Let’s get all fired up. Welcome back diet culture dropouts, and thanks for joining me, I’ve got a really gobsmacking pile of diet culture bullshit for you today. And I know that last week, I promised you that we would be doing part four of our series on the food addiction cult of bright line eating. But that episode is not quite cooked. So I’m now going to bring you today a really amazing conversation with Leah V. A fat black Muslim model who is completely pissed off at the fashion industry’s backflip on size and racial diversity. If you love us here on all fired up, please help us spread the word by going to Spotify or Apple podcasts and leave us a really fiery five star rating and a review. And of course, if you haven’t yet subscribed to all fired up, make sure you do follow us so you don’t miss out on a single rant as they drop down weekly. You don’t want to miss out. The all fired up podcast is brought to you by the brand new Untrapped Academy. There’s so much anti diet information out there and sometimes it’s hard to find the time and the energy to digest everything. I created the untrapped Academy to help overwhelmed anti dieters get access to top notch information, skills training and support in really easy to digest 30 minute sessions. Every month, we bring you an inspiring speaker talk a skills training session to help you get those anti diet ideas into your own life, plus a support group. 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The untrapped Academy is just the ultimate way to learn about anti dieting in just really digestible, easy to consume snack sized pieces, and you get to learn from a whole variety of wonderful teachers. So if you have struggled with food, your body exercise, or if you’ve just had a gut full of diet cultures, bullshit, come and join us. Even if you’re new to the world of anti dieting and looking for information or skills, training and support, we can help you and even if you’re a seasoned anti Dieter just wanting to keep up with the new developments in this ever changing world. We are here for you. The untrapped Academy is literally the biggest bargain on the internet. Your first month is just one Ozzie dollar, and then you can choose from either a $15 a month plan, or a $25 a month plan. There’s a membership level for everyone. So if you’ve got clients, patients, friends, family members, colleagues or anyone you think might benefit from joining us at the contractor Khadem e Please let him know about us head over to untrapped.com.au Okay, let’s get on with the show. So my guest today is Leah V. She is the first international plus size Muslim model to go mainstream. She’s also the author of unashamed musings of a fat black Muslim. This autobiography speaks on so many topics, mental illness, body image, religion, and finally, overcoming life’s obstacles by unapologetically coming into herself. Leia is terrific. And as a model She has appeared in many high profile campaigns such as ugh Yes, the beautiful boots dove And Fitbit, it’s awesome to see how people who look like LEA can appear in the mainstream world of fashion and advertising. But spoiler alert, LEA is now just completely pissed off with the way the fashion and advertising industry has now seemingly backflip onto the city. Let’s dive in. So Leo de thank you so much for coming on the show. Speaker 2 5:29 Thank you for having me. I’m so excited. Socks and shit. Louise Adams 5:35 Tell me what’s firing you up at the moment. Speaker 2 5:37 I mean, as like a fat black Muslim living in America, there’s many things just just to put it out there. But I’m fired up about being a token and the plus size modeling industry, and how we’ve backtracked from the body positivity movements into the Allman mom, heroin chic, that’s been trending on the internet. So that’s what I’m fired up about. Louise Adams 6:07 This is I’m immediately enraged at this is absolutely a cultural phenomenon, right? What their fuck is going on? I’m gonna have I’m confused. I’m confused. So this is gonna be great to unpack what? So you have been a model and a fat black Muslim model. Right. And that’s been like, obviously, you said you felt like a token? Mm hmm. Tell me more about that. Speaker 2 6:35 Yeah, I feel like with a lot of these brands, during 2020 COVID happened. And then Black Lives Matter movement happened. I felt like at that time, companies had to say face some way. And so they’re like, hey, well, you V she’s fat, black and Muslim. Let’s bring her in as like the solo person in this campaign. And we’ve checked off the boxes, so we don’t have to actually do the work. And when that kind of waned off now, work has dried up for me, and I haven’t really worked that much. And like I will say, almost two years. I went from being like the top tier. All the companies brands want to work with me to a desert. And yeah, I feel like I’ve been tokenized like I have been tokenize Louise Adams 7:19 yeah, there’s no other word. Right? That’s sucks. You’re like, stunning. This is like we need I mean, we need diversity in the industry. We need to you know, that phrase, you can’t be what you can’t say. The visibility is so important. But you haven’t worked? Are you serious? In two years? Speaker 2 7:38 Yeah. I is slowdown beginning of 2021. No, 2022. Yeah. 2023 is slow down and beginning in there. And I was like, oh, maybe it’s just like a little rough patch. You know, sometimes models influencers creatives, they go through a little rough patch. And rough patch went from three months to six months to nine months. And I’m like, oh, so I think my career might be done, and are out ready. I wasn’t ready to accept that the industry no longer how to use for me. And I was so fired up. Oh, my man. I was hurt. And I was I started pitching. I’m like, oh, maybe they just forgot that I was here. I started pitching and nothing crickets. And I’m like, wow. So I’m no longer needed. Like you guys are done with your inclusion campaigns. Like you just want straight size white women, small fats, you want people like that you don’t want people who are representing early class communities, like you guys don’t have a use for that anymore. Louise Adams 8:39 That’s awful. That’s just terrible. Do you like Do you have an agency? Did they help? What did they say about this? Speaker 2 8:47 I mean, what agencies you know, it’s really hard for them to focus on like one particular model, like a lot of them that I was with have multiple, like, dozens, if not almost 5060 models that they represent. And the first one I dropped, because I told them that they were not championing diversity. I was the only fat black Muslim on their roster. And they were never marketing me at all. And never sent me off for gigs. And I was like, Okay, how are you? Worldwide agency, but you never send me out for anything. I’m not getting any casting calls. And they were like, oh, like, didn’t want to say anything. And I was like, You guys have three months to figure something out, because I feel like I’m being like other it again. So I’m sure you’re working hard for your other clients and not me. They did the same thing. And I was like, Yeah, take me off. I don’t want to be with you anymore. I don’t think you guys care. And that’s fine. I’m gonna go do my own thing. Then my London agency dropped me after citing me after three months. They didn’t even give me a chance to really get into the London market. They dropped me without really saying what it is. So now I have one agency that’s like a medium agency is still in New York City and they do their best but it’s, it’s been hard. Louise Adams 9:58 It is burrito. So It’s not just the companies, it’s the actual agencies that are putting you on their books, but not really making any effort to change. But to the forward. That’s terrible. Speaker 2 10:12 Because like the average consumer, like, they don’t know what they want, until they see it. Yeah. And it’s just not really fair for people like me. When it’s like, I’m, I’ve done this for 10 years, like, I’m not, when I go, instead, I’m professional, I do it, I do what I need to do, like, you can look at my portfolio, like I’ve done this, and I’m really good at it. And to basically kind of flung off to the side like trash, it really hurts your confidence. It’s like, okay, will I be dieting? Like, should I get the surgery that the models are getting so that I can be more marketable? Like, should I be bleaching my skin? Should I take off my job, you know, so I can be more marketable? And all these things you really think about when you’re in this industry? Louise Adams 10:54 Yeah, that’s terrible. I’m glad you haven’t done any of the above. Speaker 2 10:58 Yeah, I’m not like I, I would rather pivot to another industry, which is what I’m trying to do, other than change myself to fit into this mold of standardized beauty. Like, I just, I’ve been through too much shit to get cut on or bleach something or do something drastic. so other people can like me, like, I’m just add to Masters. I’m too smart for that. I’m, like, I’m too loud for that. Like, I’m never if I’m gonna get something it’s gonna be for me not to fit into some fucking mold. Louise Adams 11:29 Yes, absolutely. Couldn’t agree more. So you’d been doing this for 10 years? Yeah. So you would have kind of had that the first few years, you would have had not very much. Yeah. And then, and then a massive uptake during that brief and wonderful period of what felt like change. Yeah, Speaker 2 11:53 I really think they had us all fools. I’m like, Oh, this is gonna continue it’s gonna be like more fat black Muslim models. There’s gonna be more models in wheelchairs and more like models with natural hair and darker skin popping up. Like I thought that was like, Okay, we’ve made it we’ve turned the corner like people don’t feel like they have to feed into toxic diet culture or fitting into this body type. And we just went 60 steps backwards and it’s discouraging. Louise Adams 12:22 Why do you think that? It pivoted? What do you think the change has been? You said arrow and shake. Speaker 2 12:29 Yeah, that was I’m not you know, I’m a little bit older. So I put the Tick Tock I’m still trying to figure out the tick tock. Okay. So it came across I think on started on tick tock, and then like, spilled over into Instagram and I think Allure magazine or one of those like magazines like, we’re like, oh, is this is heroin chic back? Is the Allman mom back right. And I think all my mom is I think either Gwyneth Paltrow or Gigi Hadid mom who are both very much so fat phobic. Oh, and yeah, very much. So the diet culture, both of them, and it came from them the almond mom, like you know, if you’re hungry, eat almond. Like, you know, the me Louise Adams 13:11 too many. Speaker 2 13:13 Right? Just a pom pom full of almond. Fat satisfied throughout the day. And I look at these articles and I’m like, wow, like, we really have taken 60 setbacks. Also New York Fashion Week. If you looked at the last two years of the diversity of color, diversity of size, diversity has literally went backwards. Very real thin models, the tall, real thin, you know, conventionally Model S models versus like some of the plus size models. They were having gone on the runway. It’s like, we don’t exist anymore. Like we were fixtures. Louise Adams 13:48 That actually sucks so much. It’s revolting. Do you remember the Kim Kardashian doing horrible things to Marilyn Monroe’s dress? Yeah. Do you think that that kind of history basically Kim, I don’t I’m not a Kardashian but I hear through the grapevine and on the TIC TOCs that it’s the you know, the Kardashians shrinking down were also quite influential I think in creating this resurgence of quite seen ideals. What do you think of that? Speaker 2 14:24 Yeah, I mean, I personally don’t follow them. Now. I will say I do follow Courtney because I feel like she’s hilarious and out of all those she’s like the more real one and had the less work done on her face. Well Courtney, because Courtney just does not care. She just wants to be vegan and she just wants to deal with her kids and travel. I you know, I keep up with her but the rest of them not so much but they do have a lot of influence. They did have a lot of cool like when they have a dress on sold out. Like when they do something with their lips everyone so lips on Yes. Unfortunately they do have that and like Kim and I think Chloe lost a shoe shed ton of weight, and took out implants and hip implants, implants and super they shrink themselves. And so I just, I definitely feel like that has something to do with it. But also just like society, in just companies and brands, just obsessed with this ideology of the female body is always keeping that something that’s unattainable. Like, no, yeah, it was easy to like, that dream, like the Victoria’s Secret CEO was shaming fat women and shaming trans women and model saying that nobody wants to see that like Victoria’s Secret sales fantasy, and that’s what we’re gonna keep fucking doing. And that’s what he said. And she goes, Oh, my God, but this is what he used to say what everybody’s thinking. We’re selling fantasies, and people like me, and people like you and your listeners, who are just average normal, people who are trying to figure out what beauty looks like and what our worth looks like, in this very social media obsessed world. We have an issue with like, trying to figure out okay, where does my body fit in? Like, yeah, my, my, my titties are saggy. You know, like, you know, something might be up with my skin, like maybe my hair’s thinning. We’re trying to figure out just normal everyday stuff. And we’re constantly being fed this fantasy. Louise Adams 16:22 It’s so depressing that like, unattainable, like we want representation to be unattainable, which, yeah, I think that’s just disgusting and sad. And, like, I think sometimes in revolutions, there’s like a first portion, then it goes back, like there’s a backlash. And I think we’re in a bit of a backlash to body positivity or representation of diversity, and like, normal people, like, diversity is having a bit of a push back, I think it’s also pushed a bit by the arrival of this weight loss drug that everyone’s not taking in Hollywood. Unknown Speaker 17:03 The ozempic Yeah, Louise Adams 17:05 I reckon that has something to do with it too. And then, you know, that just is giant, like, even the medical system is getting overly excited about weight loss. And so there’s all these kind of factors going together, but the racial element is awful, because that no one talks about that. And religion aspect, like, seeing you seeing you is so important to so many people. Like, I’ve got, I’ve got clients who are Muslim, and who are in larger bodies, and who are like, I can’t get married, you know, in my culture, I’m told that if I don’t know, if I’m not slim enough, I’m not gonna find a husband. And then I’m basically not worth anything. So to see you, like on a billboard is like, so much more than just like, oh, that’s a nice top. It’s so much more than that. Speaker 2 17:57 And I think that’s why like, I am moving away from modeling, and going more into TV film, like, I’m taking an improv class now. And I took an acting class and working with a producer with a script, and doing a podcast because I don’t want to be pigeon holed into this like, plus size model thing. Like, if this is how you guys are going to act. After all those revolutions we’ve had, then I don’t want any parts of it. And people are like, oh, like, it’s kind of selfish for you to leave, because like you said, we need to see this image. But it’s just like, I cannot do this at the detriment of my own self esteem of my own mental health. Because like, as usual, it was always the weight of everything on a black woman. That when I say okay, I kind of want to pivot, like, oh, that’s selfish of you, because you saw work to do. And it’s just like, Honey, do you know what I’ve been through this industry in the last decade? How many times I’ve been fat shamed on set, told to take off my job, given those ugliest clothes where the other people have beautiful outfits, like crying in the bathroom? Like do you understand like how much I’ve been through behind the scenes to even say something like that to me. So I’ve gotten a lot of that. And it’s just like, I can still be present. In other forms. I just don’t wish to be a part of an industry anymore. That thinks like that. The things like heart hair on sheet, or the almond mom, or Kim Kardashian is like the body goal. I can’t fight against a whole system. I’ve done. I’ve done my part I put in my work. It’s time for the other girlies to come through with the revolution. And I’m going to do mine in the way that I see fit. Louise Adams 19:36 Yeah, yeah, something that feels a bit more powerful. Because I think models like unless you’re like one of the I don’t know, top three, but even then, like, models are controlled by agencies, and then photographers and there’s not a lot of implicit power for a model, but maybe in the film TV industry. Gosh, I’ll say you you’ve got some courage to go into These industries that I was Speaker 2 20:01 trying not to do Film TV, like people have been telling me for, like Dec like least like, last decade like, oh, like you’d be really good actress, but I’m like, I can’t do that. They’re like, why not? I’m like, Well, I have IBS, first of all nervous I have to prove it like it terrifies me. But it’s just like, let’s go, let’s let’s let’s go for it like, on the other side of fear is greatness and like I learned that as a person who’s like a fat black Muslim divorce in Detroit, who’s in her 30s At the height of her career is unheard of. So if that was something that I leaped into, then I can leap into acting and film and if I fucking fail, I try if I make some type of leeway, yes, if I hate it and pivot to being a doctor, then that’s what I’ll do. Life is short. We only have one. And so I’m, I’m really on that tip right now. Like going into my mid 30s. Mid to late 30s. I’m on Louise Adams 21:02 this. Yeah, that is just yeah, the unconditional support of yourself, no matter what you do. Is is lovely to hear. It’s really lovely. So you’ve been through a lot. Your story. Can you tell us a little bit more about that? Speaker 2 21:16 Yeah, just briefly, because it’s a whole saga like me, and they’re like, oh, wow, like you’ve done so many things. But they don’t they only know the influencer part of Lea not the LEA prior the levy prior to that when I was 19 years old, getting married and a horrific divorce. 10 years later, they don’t see that I stumbled through university level with a with a mentally ill mom, and how Islam was wound into that and religion was wound into mental illness, which are the two worst things to intertwine is mental illness and religion. Yeah. For people who know this listening, they know it is worst thing ever. And it just comes very skewed and distorted. And ridiculous. And so also being fat Muslim, or a fat religious person in the community and understanding that if you are not, if you don’t look like this way, then you’re not going to get married. If you don’t lose this weight. I’ve been told many times, like, Oh, you’re not losing weight, you know. So you can find a man like, you know, and get married, like that should be your top priority. And so it was very, it was a very interesting childhood growing up in Detroit, like it was not easy whatsoever. Now, I will say wasn’t the worst, because I’ve heard worse stories. But it was definitely challenging. And I found my voice through books, and through words and stories. And so honestly, I was so I have stories tattooed on my wrist. Yeah, I have stories tattooed on my wrist because I am stories and stories are me I am words and words for me. And it’s literally saved my life. Like I wouldn’t be sitting here without storytelling. And so like I think me doing film and TV or doing writing books and being a blogger, like call them back in the day bloggers is being able to tell my story is empowering for me. And it helps me shed the shed the weight of trauma. So I had a very interesting childhood, but I think I’ve done pretty well from from what happened. Louise Adams 23:15 I think it builds resilience, in a way you know that not to kind of say that it’s great to go through tough times. But I think like when a tree catches fire, like when a bush catches fire, that it grows back stronger, you know, that kind of just that, as you can see how much you’ve been thrown, you can say how much it’s sparing you forward. Yeah. Which is quite, quite inspiring. How did you know from the aspect of diet cultures bullshit with the with the size thing? How did you reject that? It took a long time. Speaker 2 23:48 So having to I feel like when people talk about like eating disorders and stuff like that, we always think about like, very like anorexic people are very, very big people. They don’t think about all the people in between who are normal weight who have booty get with. We all do a toxic diet culture, like every single part, like no one’s safe from the diet. Nobody and so people need to understand it’s not as the fat person thing or anorexic person thing. It’s everybody thing. Yeah. Everything. And so I was doing some really dangerous diets, the Atkins diet when I was younger, and I lost 70 pounds, just very depressed, losing hair, having mood swings, because I was hungry. So I went through that and then I would have like little diets in between. And the moment where I was just like, I don’t want to do this anymore. I think it was after eating diet. I think I was like maybe mid 20s I was just in the car and I had this epiphany. I think because I my jeans my stomach was like going over my jeans and I sat down and I was like had a hole fit like a hole fit in the column. I need to go back on the problem. I started because my fondness for my jeans. And as I was sitting there having a hissy fit, my ex was driving. And I was like, just thinking about something. I was like, Well, what would it look like if you stop doing that? Like what it would look like, if you were to be happy in the body you have right now, not the body you had 10 years ago, or the body you could have in the future. If only you did a, b, and c, what would it like? Logistically look like? If you did that. And at that moment, I was like, Okay, from here on out, I’m gonna try to live my best life and the body I have right now, regardless of what the ability is, regardless how it looks, I’m going to do that. I’m going to work towards that every day. And I think at that moment, my mindset started to start to shift a little and I did more research into the body positive movement, because mind you I didn’t have I didn’t know anything about cars eating plus sized bloggers, besides models, nothing I’m coming from, like, Louise Adams 25:58 that’s just a thought that popped into your head. That’s amazing. Yeah, it was I Speaker 2 26:02 was just so tired. I was like, why I’m just tired of being tired. You know, you have those moments where you’re tired of being tired. Or doing research. And I stumbled upon the plus size model hashtag on Tumblr, and on Instagram, and I’m like, Whoa, big women with big boobs and big boys and big stomachs, getting flown out, doing photo shoots, like, living like a thin woman. At that moment, like, I never went back. Like, I have my moments. But I never went back to like this, like, Atkins diet, all that stuff. Like, I was like, no, because these women are living their best fucking lives. And they are big, they look like me, like, and they are doing the damn thing. And I never went back. And that’s the power of seeing yourself. Image. That’s the power of social media, like I know people should on social media about it being toxic, and it is toxic, because human beings use it for those cells. Louise Adams 27:00 Most comparisons, like if you put a face through, you know, you let stuff in, that’s full of people that don’t look like you, you’ll start to feel like shit. But if you curate it, to fill it, like with diversity, it’s so amazing what happens. Speaker 2 27:16 Your whole mindset kind of changes from what you see and what you’re being pelted with. And yeah, my whole mindset changed. And I, once you have Edie, you will always have Ed, once you’ve been like, once taught, diet, culture has touched you, it will never not touch you. But it’s like what we do with it after the fact after knowing like, you have to make a choice, like how do you want to react to this? How do you want to sift through this trauma of how you react to food? Louise Adams 27:42 Yeah. What do you do on a hard day? As far as Speaker 2 27:47 like, when diet culture like really? Just for the last three weeks I have been doing? I’ve been making pre making my meals. That’s been helping me eat on a schedule. Yeah. Because I feel like that was extremely helpful because I’m like, yes, the meal prepping is very irritating. very irritated to make all like five days worth of meals and like, it’s very irritating. But I noticed that I’m eating on schedule. I’m eating better. Yeah, eating all my vegetables and stuff like that. Like I’m having like, less issues because I’m actually eating. I don’t feel bad. eating more food. I’m not starving myself. But it’s like, yeah, I’m making my food and I’m gonna pop it in the microwave. And I like it. It’s home cooked. I’m saving money. And so I’m feeling a lot better about me eating and not feeling bad. Like I was before. Like, I’m just gonna not eat all day and they eat a sandwich. Like, proper, but like against that culture. Oh, eat less right? Louise Adams 28:51 Yeah, yeah, diet culture is great. There. skip breakfast, ate and almonds. It’s fun. Speaker 2 28:56 Yeah, it’s just like, Okay, no, but you have to eat in southern prepping and like, I’m just like, I thought it would be irritated by it. But I’m not like I’m making foods that I like and I put it in a little Tupperware container I pop it in and I’m eating dinner. And I’m How do you know Louise Adams 29:08 that? That’s that’s an act of self care. That is looking after yourself. Because you care about your mental health and your physical health. Speaker 2 29:17 Exactly. And I don’t feel like starving. Am I having headaches? I’m not being weird. It’s been I’m on week three. So I Yeah, and if I go out, I’m going to eat I go with my friends. I’m going to have dinner with them. I’m gonna you know, meal but yeah, yeah, I’ve been I’ve been like doing it and I’m doing it in a non toxic way. That doesn’t feel like I’m going in the deep end of the pool of ED or culture. I’m over here and I’m good. I’m floating to the other end. Louise Adams 29:47 That’s right. Regular eating because you want to nourish yourself and feel better is really different to like, scheduled meal prep eating on some kind of diet. It’s like it’s totally different ballpark, and it’s that is a really Good. I think like I think to anchor on like when things get tough in diet culture is to anchor back like to find safety in regular eating. And like it’s okay, I’ve made myself this loving meal and it’s there waiting for me. It’s it’s totally different to the kind of blesses this is more always. Yeah, that is a lovely tip. Speaker 2 30:23 Yeah, it feels good to do it. I didn’t think but again, the prepping part. But then you actually like cook less throughout the week because you already have your food. Louise Adams 30:34 Yeah, there’s less washing up on most days of the way this Yeah. Yeah. During during the boring adult stuff of like, self care, like people talk on this too about self care being like bubble baths and facials, but self care is like doing the grocery shop. Unknown Speaker 30:49 Yeah, like Louise Adams 30:52 brushing your teeth, flossing, like all the boring stuff. Speaker 2 30:57 It’s amazing. It’s great. It means you’re alive as a human being and that’s your grow. Yeah, you’ve Louise Adams 31:02 grown and that you can take really good care of yourself and that you’re worth taking really good care of. Yes, yes. So tell us about your book that you wrote. Speaker 2 31:13 While I wrote many about the memoir, Louise Adams 31:16 The memoir. Yes. All right. You are the story, lady. Yeah, but Speaker 2 31:22 But yeah, so unashamed musings of a fat black Muslim came out in 2019. Unfortunately, we weren’t able to market it because COVID Hit cared about my little book they cared about not passing away. So at me, it’s we can laugh about it now. But Louise Adams 31:41 what a disaster. They were like, Yeah, we’re, Speaker 2 31:45 I read everything. The world went on pause for well over two years. And so my book got caught in the shuffle of COVID. And I am now trying to have a resurgence because I feel like people who are reading it send me messages. And they’re like, Oh, my God, our book club. Just read it. I caught it. We love it. Like, why is this not on the bestsellers list? Because like this is some deep, raw shit. And I think being from a community that is fat, that is black that is Muslim, there’s so many different marginalized identities in that and I think a lot of voices like mine, are usually silenced. On the other hand, a lot of voices like mine don’t feel comfortable speaking to the outside world about their issues. So I am one of the most raucous ones that you’ll meet, who has made it to commercial and mainstream who has been able to share my stories. Other people don’t feel comfortable. And so when I wrote the memoir, it was out of pure aches. I was angry. From being divorced after 10 years and him cheating on me with a girl from Australia. I cheated on me with her and then leaving me me with nothing no alimony, no nothing. And me having two masters and no job, you know, you know, having insurance or money for food. And being left like that as a person who was 30 years old or close to 30 and having to reinvent themselves. And so I was mad at like white people for like bullying me at work and making me feel like I wasn’t shit because I was black or just saying crazy stuff that was racist to me. And I was mad at the Muslim community for like, making me feel like I wasn’t a good Muslim that I was a hoe because I wanted to just wear colors, and stuff like that. And so I was mad at every fucking body. And so instead of imploding and becoming my trauma, I decided to put all that into stories. And with each story, have a cry, and take a nap cry and take a nap or I and take a nap because it was so much to tell or not only myself, but the people who wronged me around me and look as a testament to seeing understanding that they’re on the other side of greatness. Sort of fears greatness. Yeah, and it’s a testament to like you can be at the fucking bottom but you can always pull yourself back up that I’m not a you know cliche person. But at the end you’ll see like what happened from the beginning you’ll you’re taking on this journey of life of divorce and assault and abortion and mentally ill mentally ill and religion you’ll see all that and they’ll stories Louise Adams 34:22 and that’s what we might say the best stories right and I think writing it out and sort of revisiting some real pain but it kind of coming out he’s kind of sorted out in a way it’s select therapy. And yeah, he really interpret what happened and you realize it’s not all your fault or whatever. That yeah, and he you asked like, who knows what’s gonna happen next like anything’s possible for you? Speaker 2 34:48 Honestly, yeah, like I was never that person that think some people don’t can’t see past their bubble. And now that I’ve seen so much, I’m so and I, I feel enlightened. That Yeah, I have my days where I don’t have hope. But on most days, I have hope. And I understand that anything’s possible like, and I really believe that I can envision myself on the red carpet, directing my own movie or television series that are getting picked up like, it is. That is something that is very possible for somebody like me, and for other people, if they try hard enough, and they believe that they can do it. Louise Adams 35:21 Yeah, yeah, you’re so inspiring. So you can use all of that rage to make your life better and make the world a better place at the same time. It’s, it’s terrific. Thank you so much. I’ve been I’m just I’ve gotten you’ve taken me on a journey have been completely fired up. And now I’m just like, really excited. Unknown Speaker 35:40 I love taking people on journeys. I’m the Holy Spirit. Louise Adams 35:46 And I think we need to thank the modeling industry for sucking, because it’s gonna get us whatever happens next. Speaker 2 35:53 Yes, thank you, Molly, industry and almond mom, I appreciate you. Louise Adams 35:59 Staying in your little arm and quarter and we’ll go on to do great stuff. Oh, thank you. Wow, what kind of a powerhouse is Leah V. It was such a great conversation. And I’m feeling really hopeful knowing that women like her are just hell bent on transforming our entertainment industry. Go Leah. And the modeling world just needs to pull itself together and stop with this arm and mum thing and and the weight loss drugs. Look. Thank you everyone for listening. I hope you enjoyed today’s show. And if you’d like to follow Leah as she takes on the world, you can find her at Leah vernon.com Or on Insta at El Vernon 2000 Thanks for listening, everyone. We’re going to be back next week with the much anticipated final episode on our series on the food addiction cult of bright line eating. Take care till then, and trust your body. Think critically. push back against diet, culture and trap from the crap out Transcribed by https://otter.ai

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